I'm a creeper-magnet. I've been stalked, propositioned by old men, chased down dark alleyways, threatened with suicide if I didn't date guys... It took me a long time to realize that males might useful for something other than friendship.
...Unfortunately, I didn't figure that out until after college, when it becomes exceedingly difficult to make new friends, let alone boyfriends. So, like many others, I turned to the internet.
I've had two six-month-ish relationships come out of OkCupid, and a lot of weird dates (more on those some other time), but overall, I've determined that most guys bore me, and I approach dates with apathy. As a result, my lack of expectation makes me somehow charming and appealing, and while the guy finds himself fast falling, I find myself wondering if I can go yet.
For some reason, tonight was different. I was excited! Nervous, even! Looking forward to my date!
And it made me dumb. Not dumb stupid, dumb quiet. Dumb awkward. And maybe also a little stupid.
I wasn't my normal, charming self. I couldn't think of clever, appealing things to say, and I think that because I was so quiet and awkward, he didn't know what to do, so he was quiet and awkward.
He walked me to my car, and said that he didn't know what to think. "Maybe you were nervous?" he asked.
"No... I, um, nooo?"
"Well, okay. Um."
On the drive home, I texted him at a stoplight. "No, you're right. I was nervous. But in my defense, you're really cute."
Maybe he'll give me a second chance to charm him. Normally, that's my job.
By the way, he totally gave me a second chance, and he's totally my boyfriend now.
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