Greetings singles, couples... mom? I'm sorry? Allow me to introduce myself.
I am the the Elusive Straight Male, a lover (part of the Puerto Rican kind), a student, a teacher, and (newly) single. Though I have been subjected to two hard break-ups the last year (especially this current one), I have gotten to this point in my life due to breaking the "rules" while creating my own. As a teacher, I fully agree to the quote, "teachers make the worst students." Instead of following a curriculum, I'm rewriting it and these posts are my evidences.
Where does this leave me with "surrogate daddy" drama"? It all started with a click...
Like many others, two years ago, I looked to OkCupid to solve my dating woes. I was a Senior at a NYC university and aside from a very awkward first-time experience a year before (that's for a future post), I have been single, slightly jaded, but eager to explore what the site offered more than just quizzes. I have made a few friends and had some flirtations through it. However, no successes came from it until...
Maria.*
Maria, the first Hispanic woman I've been attracted to in years.
Maria, a firey, fierce, flirteous, luscious, full-figured nursing student from Connecticut one year my senior.
Maria... who had a 3 year old daughter from a previous relationship.
I was 21, three months away from graduation and four months away from meeting the first of the two women who separately captured my heart this past year. I was a month removed from a crazy Spring Break in Miami where I was wilder than previously thought.
I was ready, I was willing... even willing to meet someone traveling a few hours via Peter Pan bus to see them for what became nothing more than an one-night stand.
Thank. God.
When I was picked up and driven to her house, I was greeted immediately by the hi's of her daughter. So sweet, smart... and exactly not who I wanted to see first after Maria. With a build-up of three weeks of steamy, sensual flirting, there was really only one thing I had in mind... and it wasn't seeing what would be the result of unprotected actions.
Still, I rolled with it.
Her daughter occassionally came in and out of the living room where we spent time cuddling and watching TV. We didn't get any kinds of horizontal until her daughter was well-asleep. Yes, the time was steamy. Yes, the time with her built up my sexual confidence and experience (that my suitors after her all benefitted from). Yes, I felt mostly comfortable hanging out with her...
But still. Her daughter...
Regardless of how fun the experience was, I could not shake her daughter out of my mind. Could I see myself coming up to see Maria every other week, providing an emotional daddy base? Even if that was never asked of me, I'd feel compelled to. I'm a care-taker and being a teacher a few months after that experience only emphasized that side of me. Could I come up just to "slam, bam, and thank you ma'am" while trying to shut myself out from her daughter?
Could I, as a 21-year-old with no job, no degree, and no place to live (at that time), really play that "surrogate daddy" role?
We talked online a few times afterwards, but nothing more ever came from it. She moved to North Carolina, Facebook friends no more, and the last time I saw her profile, she was smiling and in a new relationship. As she moved on, I moved on, which will be addressed in future posts.
MILF? Sure, but like the myths porn and other guys state are true, it wasn't as good as it seemed. De-mything.
Until next time.
No comments:
Post a Comment